Nick's new job

Although we are back from Africa, Nick is still part of his international fellowship. He is rotating in areas that will continue to give him skills useful overseas: dentistry, ultrasound, trauma, and burn care. He is working approximately normal hours every week (woohoo!!!!!) and doesn't have call very often, so he has taken to... being lazy (just kidding!) ... redoing the house we will be moving into. His project last weekend was to put on new doors. Let me give you a little visual for what I mean by "redo."

He's in what will be the laundry room and storage closet. To the left is a closet frame he and a very gracious friend worked on before we left for West Virginia and Africa this summer. The house was actually built as a duplex, but has since been changed into a single-family dwelling. So this room originated as a kitchen. It was about 20 degrees and snowing while he was working, so Nick used some kind of turbo space heater to keep from freezing.

This was an old living room. It had an interesting glass window which looked into, we assume, a daycare play area. Like the art work? We will paint over it :) The old play room will be Moriah and Charlie's room. They love sharing a room and will probably do so for as long as is socially acceptable. The old living room will be a nice guest room with its own entrance. "It's own entrance" sounds kind of fancy. Don't be fooled. Fancy is not exactly what we're going for. Definitely livable, hopefully enjoyable, but not fancy. Investment property? Um, sure. Depends on what kind of investment you're talking about... 

Here is the fanciest part of our house though- the new front door and the fireplace. The fireplace was also helpful for keeping Nick manageably warm.

You can see we have some work cut out for us... cheesy pun intended. We plan to move in towards the end of June, when Nick is finished with the international fellowship and before he starts at a non-profit clinic in Wichita. So we have quite the work ahead, but we're excited. Several other residency friends, many of whom will be working at the same clinic, have already moved into the neighborhood. Our friends, Drew and Lindsay, bought the green gem of a house next store. Others are literally a zip-line-ride-across-a-creek close.

Our move is part of a cool journey, one that started shortly after we were married. Nick and I talked often about the "Love your neighbor as yourself" statement of Jesus' that is plagiarized as the Golden Rule ;) As we talked about how to be doers of that command, we felt God challenge us to choose our neighbors carefully. So we have been on a journey of trying to live in places not because of what we can afford, or because of how much space we want, but in places where we think God wants us to be neighbors.

And so begins the blog-umentary of our reno process and move. Someone is tired just thinking of it :)

The Second Most Important Oven in Niger

I asked Anna* if she wanted an oven. She replied with a "Yeah, but they didn't give us much notice for the sale, and I haven't had time to save money." I told her if she had an oven she could make her delicious homemade bread for other short-term workers at the hospital. She made us amazing homemade rolls and bread in our home each week. We usually gave away about half to the compound bachelors or other short-term missionaries who didn't have someone baking bread for them. The compound housing committee was offering old appliances to workers for a good price the coming weekend. As we continued to talk, she asked to borrow money from us and have it taken out of her salary each week. We talked about it, prayed about it, and decided we were excited to help her.

With an oven, she was well on her way to having a home business. She still needed several other important things: a gas tank, pans, measuring spoons, a roller, etc. These things may seem insignificant but none of them could be bought locally or at an affordable price for her. We only had about 4 weeks before we left. We wanted to help her make this happen, but wanted to be really careful not to throw all these things at her carelessly.

You probably think we wanted to avoid being taken advantage of. When people receive handouts upon handouts, they often develop an attitude of entitlement: they feel they deserve what they are given, or feel what they are given is not good enough. I want to offer my theory on entitlement. It has developed over time... from a year in a poor village in Thailand and several years getting to know inner-city Wichita.

When God created man, he created man and woman to work. To take a fruitful garden, rule over it, and subdue it. To take resources He gave them through the earth and provide food for themselves and their offspring. Work is good. I believe God created work, in part, to be dignifying: it just feels good to be able to take care of myself and the family God has given me. And it's enjoyable to be creative - taking something that seems ordinary and making it special. God gives us natural resources and the mental and physical capacity to maximize those resources so they produce something that works for us.

For example, my husband earns money for food, and I take the food and make it into regular, nutritious meals for my family. I can do this, and I usually do. Let's say our situation changes, and I, in fact, am not able to provide for my family. Lack of money, lack of physical capacity, lack of mental capacity, whatever. Legitimately, I have had times where I was mentally incapable of wrapping my brain around putting food on the table for my family. Thankfully, we have been in a position during those times where Nick could either grab take out or get cereal for himself and the kids while I took a time out.

I usually feel some guilt and shame when this happens: "What is wrong with me? Why can't I handle my life right now - it's not that complicated?" But Nick has always been very reassuring and gracious, and the Lord has always restored my sanity in a short time. But if I had continued to live there - unable to get my family regular, nutritious meals - I would have started to feel increasing guilt and shame. Dealing with guilt and shame is not easy. We do a lot of things to cover these emotions up or brush them off - get defensive, blame someone else, make excuses. This is where I think entitlement comes in. I think people start to feel and act entitled because it is easier to handle than guilt and shame. If I am ashamed I can't mentally handle feeding my family, I may start to act like I deserve for Nick to order us take out every night so that I don't have to cook. It's easier to handle my resentment towards Nick than my shame of my mental incapacity.

When we continue to take care of people's needs for them, I believe they tend to develop guilt and shame. When people legitimately cannot take care of their needs, they do not need to feel guilt and shame. If we come alongside them in a helpful, careful way, we can meet their needs or assist them in meeting their own needs in a way that appreciates God's design for work. We can encourage them to deal with any guilt and shame by looking to their God and Savior, not to the world, to see what He thinks about their lives and purpose. But when people can legitimately meet their own needs, or when we are not careful in coming alongside them in a way that appreciates God's design for work, I believe the guilt and shame increase and often lead to entitlement.

With Anna, we were more concerned about not inadvertantly shaming her than about her taking advantage of our help. She is fully capable of providing for herself and her family. Truthfully, she is a much harder worker than I am. (Try doing all your family's laundry by hand - in the 100+ degree sun and with chronic anemia - and then pounding your grain by hand, feeding your goats, carrying water for your family, and then doing all this for someone else's family. Then let me know when you need a break!) I also know that Anna, because of where she lives, has so fewer resources than I do. Food doesn't grow well, produce is scarce and expensive, and no one has found valuable minerals in Galmi to mine. So I want to help her better provide for her family. But in a way that honors her ability to work hard and conserves the joy it gives her, not in a way that dismisses these things. Also, I want to be really careful, for her sake and mine, that I don't have a savior mentality**... If only I gave Anna what I had, she would be okay. If only I helped her, her life would be better. God provides for my needs, and I need to remember that He is the one providing for hers. He may very well ask me to share the plenty I have with her, but I am certainly not her savior. The plenty I have is from Him anyways.

So, yes, we could have easily thrown out $200 to get her bread business up and going. And doing so, truthfully, would have been quite easy. But, no, I did not want her to feel like she had a new business because someone gave it to her. So, before she had her own supplies, she came over to make bread and tortillas with our oven. We sat down together pricing out all the ingredients and how much a batch would cost to make. We measured bags of flour so she would know how many bags she would need to buy each week. We walked around the compound taking bread orders together to boost her confidence in doing it by herself. And we prayed for God to help us find a way to get gas, a rolling pin, pans, an oven thermometer. In exchange for our gas and ingredients, she left some bread with us and sold the rest. The look on Anna's face as she delivered her delicious bread to people was priceless.

Who could resist delicious rolls from this gorgeous smile?!?

She saved money to buy her own ingredients and some supplies we could find locally and inexpensively. God answered our prayers for hard-to-buy things in creative ways, which was fun to watch! She was grateful for our help, sure, but I really think she saw God, not us, as the providers. She repaid and worked off her loan for the oven, and started brainstorming ideas about how to save money for the gas after we left. Our surprise to her the day before leaving was a gas tank. We checked around with missionaries who had been there much longer than we had, and the gas tank gift was reasonably similar to a cash gifts families usually give their workers around the holidays. What a perfect way to thank the precious woman and dear friend who spent so much time caring for our family.

We hear from our friends that she continues her weekly orders and delivery. So if you are ever passing through Niger and want homemade rolls that may be getter than your grandma's, make sure to be around on Monday evening when she takes orders :)



*Due to recent events in Niger (you can google it) and because families we know are being affected, I am working on changing names in my blog.

**This idea comes from When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty without Hurting the Poor and Yourself. It's also a great read for learning how to love poor people well.